Dear Wireless Headset User,
I appreciate the fact that technology has come so far as to allow those of us who regularly use cell phones to do so without holding the entire device to our ears. Hands Free technology, as it is often referred to is a great asset to those whose livlihoods require the use of such phones all the time. It is also very helpful for those who are on the road a lot. I am glad that such devices also help keep our roads safe.
However, I implore those of you who have these clever little contraptions to not use them in public. Of course I don't mind if you speak on the phone in public but please go to the effort of holding the receiver to your ear. Yes, I recognize that it can be a bit of a burden some time and one's arm can become quite tired. However, with recent technological advances, not unlike the one that allows you to speak into thin air while someone around the globe responds, our cell phones are much lighter. Go to the effort and lift, the hefty 3 oz. device to your ear and save us the trouble of wondering if you are talking to yourself, to someone in your immediate vicinity, or to your buddy on the other end saying, "this is so cool. I don't even have the phone up to my ear."
Trust me. It is kind of wierd standing in line with someone and assuming that they are talking to you, wondering what the conversation is all about, only to discover that they have this little plastic and metal ear creature clinging to the other side of their head.
The wieght of being a normal person can be a bit too much to bear, I realize. The use of the ultimate hands free device however keeps one's friends and neighbors at bay. You separate yourself from them through the use of bluetooth, Wi-Fi, pixie dust, or whatever it is that makes your little ear crab work. It makes you elitist. Sorry, I know that this is hard news to hear but it is nonetheless true. It does sound odd to call someone who works for T-Mobile, Primerica or Cox Cable elitist but that is exactly what this device does. It separates you from the rest of us not based upon your wealth, nor your education, nor upon the people that you know. Rather, you are elititist based upon your ability to get by without using your limbs like the rest of us. Forgive me for how harsh I am being but I trust that you will give me a call later and let me know that you took this to heart. You will be calling from your hands free device no doubt. However, in doing so I know you will at least being holding the little thing to your ear, all .5 oz of it, just like the women in the Petticoat Junction phone operator scenes. Such a courtesy will not go unnoticed.
Sincerely,
Prodigious Blackberry Thumb Typer
P.S. For those of you who have to accompany such individuals into public places. We are on your side. It must be annoying to be in someone's company who liesurely and with indifference leaves your presence and drifts off into cyberspace. Please know that you are invited to come and sit with those fully engaged individuals who are perusing the internet wirelessly on their laptops in oblivion to the world around them.