USC Is Still The Best Team, says Leinart

S(v)ince the advent of the BCS (or BSC, I always get them confused) college football has changed drastically. The most notable change is how the #1 team is determined. There is now an elaborate system that incorporates calculus (rate of change theory), statistics (polls and opinions) and feng shui to determine which team should be rated the best in Division I football. And thankfully, just this week, a new component for the determination of #1 has been brought online: Heisman Winner Opinion.

Sure, many people are dubious about this innovation. They say that while the winner of the Heisman is undoubtedly a good athlete his, or someday her, opinion would be clouded by their bias toward their own team. Others argue that the Heisman winner is just too Young to make such judgements about which team is best. He doesn't have enough experience with real life. Still others eschew the idea of the Heisman UTrophy Winner opinion and still cling to the out of date, yet still fashionable, idea that a playoff system for college football would somehow determine which team is best. In fact, there are so many people who still hold to this conventional wisdom, though it is horribly misguided, that the NCAA is considering hiring some marketing consultants to create a playoff system that could provide a series of games to complete the year and determine a number one team. Crazy? YoU beT. (Side note: The AllnotellkiaceraUTMobile College Super Bowl will have no real standing in the actual ratings. The aforementioned categories will still be used by the BCS and their super computer. However, all attenders of the non-BCS CSB (college super bowl) will be able to send and recieve as many free Tex and picture messages as they can during the actual game.)

Finally, it was announced this past week that there will be a new playoff system created to determine the winner of the Heisman trophy. S(v)ince, points, votes, and obscure messages revealed in New York Times Sudoku puzzles aren't giving an accurate reading on who the most valuable college football player is the NCAA Why Bother With An Education Committee is getting their heads together. This new system is called the NFL.